This morning was a drama-filled morning. It turns out, drama filled mornings have a way of waking you up quite quickly and bringing the morbid reality of a Monday morning splashing down around you (you’ll see why I used this terminology very shortly. I think it’s quite clever).
This morning, drama hit by way of Mooncup. Let me give you a little background. I love my Mooncup. It’s so convenient, simple, cleaner and more comfortable than the alternatives, and I love that it’s more environmentally friendly. I can wear it when I’m doing any sort of exercise, and I don’t even have to think about it. I’ve had mine for about a year, and despite long period-free periods, it’s already paid for itself. In that time I have had zero accidents. Most people suffer leakage issues when they first get the hang of it, but I got it right away. Turns out the period fairy will have none of that!
Usually I empty mine in the sink. There are a few reasons for this – it’s slippery, and I really don’t feel like going fishing in my own pee in the morning. The second reason is that I can’t seem to avoid the red tide post-flush – you know, when you flush and it looks like there’s a sea of blood in the bottom of your toilet? People have said to make toilet paper rafts, but that never seems to work for me.
Anyway, on my way to the sink (I actually just reach out my arm, I don’t even have to get up!) it slipped. From about sink height. My heart dropped. I fumbled to catch it. And because I have the coordination of a blind snake, I missed it. It fell. Onto the floor. It bounced.
You don’t know horror until you’ve seen a scene like my bathroom this morning.
The Mooncup holds a maximum of 30ml – but I swear it looked like 10 times that by the time it was splashed up my walls. I’d love to say it looked like art, but that would not be true. To add insult to injury, I had to chase around the cat who stepped in it and traipsed little red kitty paw prints all the way up my stairs. I’ve never been so glad to have tiled landings and wooden stairs!
To add a second layer of drama (as if that wasn’t enough!) when I had finished cleaning my bathroom and was brushing my teeth, I noticed one of my earrings was missing. It’s a very big, very expensive diamond earring given to me for admittance by mum, and I’m very keen to have them forever. I thought I lost it in bed, so naturally spent 20 minutes crying hysterically and ripping apart my bed to find it. Just as I was ready to admit defeat and acknowledge it was long gone, I found it upstairs on my yoga mat, after it imbedded itself in my foot. I’ve never been so glad to step on something sharp before!
And that, my friends, is the story of why I was late to work this morning.